I've found this question to be slightly alarming because I had never put much thought into it before. If you read everyone of my report cards from elementary school until whenever teachers stopped commenting on report cards you would find that each one of them wrote the same thing. Something to the effect of "Ryann is a smart young lady and a joy to have in class but she needs to speak up and have more confidence in her work."
While different opportunities in college have allowed me to gain confidence in myself I have yet to be fully confident in my work. Perhaps thats because my work and what I create is an extension of myself. I can control what people see from me as a person, I can try to control how they interpret it, and perhaps in their mannerisms/actions observe their opinions but once I put my work out I no longer have control. Any opinions/interpretations are restrained within the walls of the other persons brain and the only glimpse I get is what they choose to share.
Maybe I shouldn't care in how I pertain to others but I do and I can't really explain it. I know I've come along way even in the two years I've been here at UCSD but boy do I have So Far To Go.
...
Here is a little something I wrote. Hopefully I can build confidence in my work and expand my willingness to share it with the public.
Virtue
To say that the virtue and evilness inside peacefully coincide is a far cry from the truth
They live in a divide, an apartheid, and one is about to die hung from a noose
They say it is I who has to decide whose to be denied of life beyond its youth
And what’s upsetting, is not saying goodbye to one of the two, but accepting that it took me longer than a blink of an eye to choose
-Ryann
