The Light

I realized I haven't posted anything in awhile a) because my life has been consumed by chemistry and b) because I haven't been really listening to rap lately which means there hasn't been any opportunity for a song to spark my interest and make me want to title my blog entry after it.


Don't get me wrong I am still very much in love with the genre and its rhyme schemes, story telling etc. I just find that often take long breaks from hip hop and dive into other genres of music which mainly consists of classic rock/pop from the 60's and 70's. I won't elaborate much more on that other than I highly recommend listening to "Tin Man" and "Lonely People" by America, well that's if you like folk-rock.


Anyways, I thought I'd share the poem I performed at Cup of Culture. It's fairly long (it had to be 3-5 min) but I'm not really sorry for that, so no need for me to apologize. Why lie right?


-La Rhino
p.s. Check out "The Light" by Common down below. It's songs like these that make me giddy inside haha

"The Light"

When I was little and it was about time for me to rest my head

My father would come into my room say a prayer and then tuck me into bed

And right before he left and out of the room he stepped

He would turn on a little light on my outlet

So at night I would often ask about it

Asking “Daddy why do you turn on that funny little light? It’s so I can see right?”

And he would answer, “Honey, this little light will illuminate bright when you wake up in the night and seek to have sight, despite the fact the this room is dark and black”

So I would look at him and wonder “Why did I need a little light? I had no intentions of waking up in the middle of the night”

I tried and tried to understand but my feeble mind just couldn’t

And then one day I woke up and I finally understood it

See we are the light that illuminates bright when people wake up in their life and they seek to have sight despite the fact that this world is dark and black

We are the light that can eradicate poverty

That makes the thief give back all he stole in the robbery

The type of light that radiates with honesty

That lets the rich and poor alike know that going to college is not a novelty

We are the light that with just one flicker can make the world quiver and shiver so bad

That in one snap we change erase the words Hitler and Nigger from our vocab

We are the light that can outshine the divisions of classicism

No schisms of the rich and poor

The type of light that makes wisdom seep out of your pores

That travels at yes of course 2.99 times 10 to the 8^th power

The same source of energy to every living flower

But not the flowers that are found to spring from out of the ground

But the flowers that are raped by cowards and whose only sound is a scream so profound

We are the light that says "Young flower blossom and a queen you shall be crowned"

We are the light that can teach our generation that life is not about flirty thongs and bongs

The type of light that’s epitomized in a Journey song, but its not the “Lights that will go down in the city”

It’s the husbands and fathers who ever told their wives and daughters they were anything less than pretty

See it’s you and I who can make ignorant men turn wise

Then make all the Jews who were burned in the genocide

Raise from their graves to the ceilings of the sky

Then promise to make a change because to mass killings we shall no longer turn a blind eye

We are the light that can make AIDS just a distant disease of the past

Then make hate a plague whose existence is ceased as soon as our light is flashed

We will give off Luminous energy and our mind will be in a near state of reverie

Dreaming how what we do today can make life brighter for our children in the next century

We are the light of different colors that refracts from a prism

That reminds our inner-city sisters and brothers they were not meant for over packed prisons

So hear these words in fact I beg you to listen

To these blurbs on the page that are written and that I now recite

So I say it again, We are the light that illuminates bright when people wake up in their life and seek to have sight despite the fact that this world is dark and black

But I know what you’re thinking If we are the light and the spark then why is this world still blind and dark?

Because we have yet to wake up and turn on the light that’s inside our heart

My Life...

"Sometimes I look at my life with my face down/ Then I see my sons and put on the Kanye smile" -The Game, My Life

When it comes to the college life things seem to be so fast paced. There is always something that needs to be done. Because of this if something doesn't go as planned I often see people start to freak out and let a minor speed bump turn into a 4 car crash at a stoplight. I am no exception to this. I always seem to let both the little and big things get me down. Although I try not to stress over small things stressing always seems inevitable.


When it seems that nothing can make me pick my head back up I see my cousins and my spirits are lifted. Although when I visit them they are a bit loud sometimes screaming and maybe even crying it's quite clear that not only do they understand the idea of fun they have no apparent worries. Their playfulness and ability to use their imagination brings a huge smile to my face. While they may be young and naive, while they may fight or who's bouncy ball it is not realizing that there are millions of soldiers fighting and dying in wars, I think its the children of this world that can teach us adults and near adults a thing or two.


I wouldn't advocate embracing their naïveté but I would advocate that sometimes we take a step back and allow ourselves to be childlike. That we stop worrying so much about our grades. That we stop whining that what we ate today is going to make us gain ten pounds. That we stop stressing over things that we have no control of. That we not allow ourselves to focus so much attention to what's wrong with our life that we forget to count our blessings, that we forget to have fun and enjoy the company of our friends and family. Most importantly I would advocate that we take a step back and not get so worked up over what our mind perceives as reality that we don't take the time to explore our imagination and dreams.


I was once a child and when I was 5, I dreamt of being a dentist. I could close me eyes and see myself in that bright white coat. Nearly 15 years later I've pursued that dream, I'm in a near perfect position that will allow me to fulfill it, yet when I close my eyes I see the hard classes that I will have to enroll in, I see that struggle of applying to dental schools, I see the long nights ahead of me, I see the competition, and I fear the possible failure of my life's greatest ambition. But then I open my eyes and I see my young cousins and am reminded that like them I need not worry about failure. I need to keep pursuing my purpose and the dreams of my childhood years despite the fact that failure is possibility. As Survivor once sang, "Don't lose your grip on the dreams on the past, You must fight just to keep them alive." Perhaps the biggest failure would be to let that little girl inside me down. To not give her a fair chance at seeing her dreams realized. 


It's like I see my cousins faces and their glowing smiles and all I can do is smile back. Every time I see them it's like the child in me is resurrected and that little girl reminds the older me to cut back on the worrying and stressing, to have fun, to let my imagination run wild, and of course not to "think about My Life with my face down" but instead pick my head up and live out my dreams.


-La Rhino

One Mic...

"All I need is one mic.. f*** the cars, the jewelry/ All I need is one mic.. to spread my voice to the whole world"- Nas, One Mic


So this past week Revellations the organization I co-chair had an event called "I Am..." which was an event centered around self-expression. As a natural introvert, I usually write poems solely for myself in order to release this excess energy that gets built up inside of me. Throughout the day if anyone ever observes closely I often am mumbling under my breath and reciting my own poems, not because I think they're that good but because I find that its the first thing that pops into my head and also because I find them the most relatable to my life but thats obvious since I'm the one who wrote them. 


Well for this event I was encouraged by others to actually read my poems out loud. Now I was a bit apprehensive at first because for one I'm not one to open up about myself to others and two I don't consider myself a natural public speaker. Thus combining the two just seemed like a recipe for disaster. Well eventually I decided to do it and much to my surprise it went rather well (One of the poems I performed is posted below). I don't think I wrote that SUPERB of a poem or even conveyed GREAT oratory skills but the reason I think it went well was because not only did I prove myself wrong but I was also able to see the amount of growing I truly have done. I remember as a freshman in high school I was extremely fearful of public speaking. One time we had to recite 10 lines from a Shakespeare play and when it was my turn to go up I recited half of the lines only to get stuck in the middle, turn red as a tomato, and eventually get an F. 


Now through many pep talks from my mom I eventually got over my fear of public speaking and would often volunteer to go first but there was always that little voice in the back of my head telling me I couldn't do it. The little voice that reminded me of that day in freshman year when with a flushed face, shaky hands, and a nervous voice, I embarrassed myself in front of the entire class. 


After this event I realized that I nor anyone else should hold themselves to the standard of who they once were. So what if I was deathly afraid of public speaking, so what that I always used to be the shy girl in the class, so what if I was deathly afraid of being a leader. What matters is the "now", the present and today I AM not afraid of public speaking, I AM not Ms. Shy who hopes not to get noticed, and I AM not afraid to be a leader. 


I've realized that we can turn any weakness into a strength and a positive through a little persistence and hard work. We often find that there is a pit that we our afraid to jump into not realizing that in this pit is both our greatest fear and our greatest dreams. I've jumped into the pit, wrestled the lion that is public speaking and now have him chained. Now it's time to tackle my greatest dream which is to become a dentist and (through public speaking) become an advocate of the poor and underprivileged. 


Like Nas once said, "All I need is one mic" to prove how much we can grow if we take the time to conquer our fears, "All I need is one mic" to know that no matter the obstacle WE CAN fulfill any dream, and of course "All I need is one mic.. to spread my voice to the whole world."...Next speaking event CUP OF CULTURE!!


-La Rhino



One of the poems I performed:
I AM not a number or just another statistic


But I WONDER do you look at my skin color and label it as just another characteristic...or do you judge me


I PRETEND it doesn't bug me but it does because


I FEEL I am constantly judged by the roots of my blood as if I was born to fill the shoes of my father and be a user of drugs, but to tell the truth I just want to distribute the love


I CAN be anything I want is what my mother said, as long as my heads in it...but how can I know that she truthfully meant it when I look at all the faces of my doctor's and dentists and I don't see the resemblance


So it's like I WORRY at night that if I don't fit the stereotype of what it means to be "ethnic," I'm going to make to the top only to be rejected, labeled a sell-out never to be accepted


So I CRY when I think about all my mother gave, nearly sent to her grave, for it all to be in vain because her daughter's constrained by the thought that "She's brown she bound to be a maid"


I AM Mexican and proud and that's a fact but I still feel society's trap looming on my back because they say what I'm supposed to be is just another ho on the street


So despite the stereotypes I TRY to remind myself that smoking doja is not in my culture, we are more than being poor Catholic soccer fanatics, more than alcoholics and addicts, we are Aztecs with the smarts of a militant, not born to work at Wal-mart of be an illegal immagrant


In my heart I HOPE to be the spark that ignites my people that we are equal. Let them know that the pipe dreams can become realistic with a little persistence


I AM Mexican and proud, but in case you missed it I AM not and never will be a statistic

Mistakes...

I've come to realize that the hardest part of my college experience has thus far been not having my mother here right by my side. Now I don't mean that in the sense that she can no longer cook me food, wash my dishes, do my laundry etc. I mean that she is no longer here to just talk to in person, she can no longer comfort me physically, I no longer have her here to guide me day by day, to give me advice at the dinner table, and most of all to keep me from making mistakes. And Lord knows now that over the past year and a half that I've made my share of mistakes. 


 Some mistakes have been minor and some quite major. Some have cost me nothing and others cost me more than I could have ever imagined. Although I can blame some things on others for the most part each mistake has been a direct result of my own irresponsibility. Honestly, I feel as if my mother were right here by my side I would have never dived into such depths of reckless behavior. Even so, I believe a necessary part of growing and maturing is that one can let go of their parents hand and walk on their own. (Sidenote: My grandma this past Monday had a dream of me letting go of her hand and getting lost in a store which caused her to start yelling and yelling my name because she was so scared to lose me, is this all related? I don't know) It is not NECESSARY to make mistakes as you journey on but I don't believe you can ever know what is right unless you know what is wrong.

I know many of my actions of the past year and a half have been wrong and have caused me to wrong those that are closest to me and for that I feel terrible. Nevertheless, I have committed wrong-doings but I do know what is right and what IS necessary. It is necessary that I not only own up to my actions but also rid my life of those things that hinder me. No matter what I've done I know I can look forward to tomorrow with eagerness because as the woman who was accused of adultery in the Bible, Jesus does not condemn me and wants me to "Go now and leave [my] life of sin."

Although my mother is not here to hold my hand anymore she has taught me among other things that I am not defined by my mistakes, I can succeed, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and that I AM MORE than a CONQUERER. And to prove my mother's teaching were not in vain I shall overcome all my mistakes and one day become living proof that God can use anyone to advance his kingdom.


-La Rhino


 "Some people learn from mistakes and don't repeat them
Others try to block the memories and just delete them 
But I keep them as a reminder they not killing me, 
And I thank God for teaching me humility"
- Immortal Technique